The Refiner's Fire

Yesterday I was really down and feeling pretty bad with this stomach bug. I really wanted to be at home in my own bed! I was struggling to see where God was in all of this. Isn't it enough that we're here for so long? Do I have to get sick, too? I felt like my prayers were hitting the ceiling.
Our devotional reading in the morning was based on Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." You may have heard the analogy of the refiner of precious metals and God. The refiner adds heat to the metal to remove any impurities, but he cannot allow too much fire. As soon as he sees his face reflected in the metal he extinguishes the fire. God can be compared to the refiner, and we are His metal.
That evening Nadeem had to go grocery shopping with Someira. Ayesha is still recovering from surgery and both servants were gone for the evening. I still wasn't feeling 100%, and I was a little concerned about caring for Kalina. To encourage myself, I decided to read a Psalm to Kalina. I randomly opened to this passage from Psalm 66: "For you, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; you laid affliction on our backs. You have caused men to ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water; but You brought us out to rich fulfillment."
The verses that God has given Nadeem for many days is James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." Clearly God is trying to send us a message. Nobody wants the fire and trials, but God also shows what lies ahead for the good.
This morning during Nadeem's prayer he talked about seeing God's beauty. I thought, "There is no beauty here." We've heard that other parts of Bangladesh are quite lovely-beautiful beaches, villages, bodies of water, and other nature. The city is so noisy and harsh. Then I reconsidered. If God is here, which He is, then there must be beauty. I've asked God all throughout the day to show me His beauty. Here is what I've seen so far: beautiful sunshine coming through our window, a beautiful smile on Kalina's face, the beauty of our family being able to cuddle up together on our bed this morning before starting our day, the beauty of my husband's kindess in giving his ice cream to an elderly guest, the beauty of my husband's loving touch in bathing Kalina while I type this, the beauty of God's love and His Word, and the beauty of the prayers and love of all of you at home that reach us here!
(Oh, and if you're wondering, God gave me strength to take care of Kalina while Nadeem was gone!)