Preparing for the Fingerprints

Last night was a horrible night. For the past few days, Kalina has woken us up every 3 hours during the night because she's hungry. We're grateful for her appetite and weight gain, but very tired. During the day she rarely naps. Last night Nadeem and I were so exhausted that we felt almost sick. At 11:00 p.m. we tried to put Kalina to bed. I was so tired that I lay down on the bed and thought I couldn't get up if I had to. Well, I had to! Kalina was so wound up from her day that she began to wail and needed much attention to settle down. I truly felt like I was at a breaking point and couldn't take anything else. I snapped at Nadeem and tried to comfort Kalina. Finally at 12:15 a.m. she went to sleep. We slept for our 3 hours and then I woke up to more bad news-Nadeem was terribly sick. He had a fever, intense stomach cramps, a cough, and a headache. In addition, mosquitos which have been plaguing us were flying around his head. I suddenly had to tend to Kalina and Nadeem when I had absolutely no strength. I prayed to God-basically just calling out for Him to please help us! I don't think that I had much faith or hope. I told Him that I'm His child and all I can do is call help. We got through the night, and Nadeem woke up free from the fever and stomach cramps. I thought about the song "What a Friend We Have in Jesus". It was one of those moments when I didn't see Jesus as a friend at all. I mean, all our friends at home would gladly get us home if they could! Here the greatest friend of all seemed to have let me down in a huge way. We're stuck here and now we're running out of health and strength. When we woke this morning, Nadeem prayed a sweet prayer about God always providing for us and thanking Him for healing Nadeem and giving me strength to take care of everyone. I felt mad and ungrateful.
Then today I got a message from our new advocate, Mr. Charles Spry, of Senator Isakson's office. He said that the USCIS has indeed approved our fingerprints to be taken here in Bangladesh. All we need to do is show them the official letter we got in the mail at home (we have a copy here) saying we're ready for fingerprints, and they can take them. I felt cautiously hopeful. Tomorrow we're going to the US Embassy in hopes of having our fingerprints taken. The Embassy will then not be open again until Sunday, and at that point, Hasan's parents will leave for India for 2 weeks. We'll have to take Kalina on any future visits, so we really need the fingerprints done tomorrow. We have our packet prepared. We need favor when we arrive. We're so thankful to Jennifer Hayes at Senator Chambliss' office and Charles Spry at Senator Isakson's office. Both have been instrumental in getting us to this point, and we are extemely grateful.
Today Nadeem received an email from our friend Tim Sparks. He reminded us of what we know but had forgotten. Our journey is not about finding the right person to cut through the red tape. It's about faith and perseverance. For me, I felt guilty to receive the news from Mr. Spry. I had had such mean thoughts towards God, and then we got this news I felt I didn't even deserve. I think perhaps that was God's message to me today-that we don't deserve anything. Even when my faith falters, God loves me so much that He delights in helping His children-in the way only a perfect Father can, not because of what I do or don't do but because of His love. Even when the circumstances make no sense, still Jesus is my friend.
Romans 5:5 "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."