Caught Between Two Worlds

Nadeem and I have talked many times about the hard parts of this journey. There are so many, but we think that perhaps the hardest is not knowing when or how we'll be delivered and be able to come home. Now it's December, and we're entering our fourth calendar month here. We've been here for 3 months. My mom's birthday is this week. We wonder if we can come home to celebrate with her. Christmas is this month. We want to be home by then! This, of course, is what walking by faith is all about-trusting that God has the perfect plan even when we can't see or understand. It's enormously hard. We think that we could handle the small irritations and large challenges better if we knew how many more days we had.
I feel caught between two worlds. Now that we have Internet access again, I'm able to receive word from home and even do a little on-line Christmas shopping. Part of me is focused on home. I hear news about my cats, about your Thanksgiving celebrations, and about Christmas preparations. My heart longs to be there! Every week we receive multiple messages of "I know you'll be home this week" or "I'll see you soon!" I start to get excited thinking about coming home soon and even making plans. At the end of every week we're still here.
While I'm trying to do this, though, I wake up in Bangladesh every day. The people here are preparing for their holiday next week. For this Eid, every family will sacrifice animals-goats and cows. The garage of the apartment will be a barnyard that morning. We'll hear the sounds of the animals awaiting slaughter. Everyone is shopping for new clothes and preparing to give gifts. People are already planning the New Year's Eve celebration. Their New Year doesn't start until April, but they also celebrate ours. We've already been invited to go to the beach here to celebrate at the end of December. Here people tell us we won't be home soon, that it takes a very long time to get a visa to go to the US, up to 9 months.
Whose voice do we listen to? Do we believe our loved ones at home who tell us we'll certainly come home soon, or do we listen to the voices here that tell us we belong here now? Do we focus on home, or do we focus on our lives here? Actually, the truth is neither. We focus on God. That's hard, too, especially when there are so many other voices. My voice tells me that I won't be happy unless Kalina's package comes. (It hasn't.) The enemy's voice tells me that I shouldn't have hope because I'll only be disappointed again. God's voice, when I listen, tells me that He's my peace, my strength, and my hope. He has the plan. My happiness truly doesn't depend on going home or getting a package here when I want it. God is enough. When I hear His voice, I enter His rest. If not, I'm in turmoil.
Here is our voice to all of you: thank you for following our story, for praying, and for caring! May you also hear God's loving voice.