The past few days have been really difficult for us here. Kalina is starting to teethe, and she has not been sleeping soundly recently. After receiving the barrage of bad news the other day, we faced a night of little sleep as she woke up to eat and then to play. I don't do well on little sleep (Nadeem will readily agree!), so when Kalina woke me up again at the crack of dawn to play after I had already been slammed with the bad news the day before, I felt I had no strength to cope. I tried to rock her in my arms to get her to go back to sleep, but she wanted no part of that. Actually, she enjoyed the rocking, but wouldn't sleep. Exhausted, I bounced, I rocked, I bounced, I rocked until finally I handed her to her dad and went into the bathroom where I collapsed on our hard tile floor in tears. I cried to God that I was worn out, that I felt all alone, that nobody is here to help me. My strength was gone-physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The only thing I could do was call out to God and cry some more.
There's a verse that's intriguing to me from Philippians 4:19: "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Again I'm reminded that my definition of "needs" and God's definition aren't the same. I need to go home. I need to be with friends and family who love me. Kalina needs her healthier formula from America...on time. Nadeem needs his job and his paycheck. We need to be home for Christmas. The list goes on and on.
Kalina recognizes and loves all of us in the apartment-Nadeem, me, Hasan's mom, his dad, his sister, and the two servants. When Kalina wants to sing and dance, she goes to her Khala ("aunt"-i.e. Hasan's sister). When Kalina wants to play, she goes to her daddy. When Kalina wants to be wild and squeal she goes to the teenage servant. When Kalina wants to be cuddled she comes to me. Each of us has something special to give to her to meet her various needs and wants. God has appointed Nadeem and me to be her parents; however, only God is the perfect parent, giving us all everything we need.
God always knows what we truly need, even when we don't. Maybe we need love, discipline, comfort, guidance, or a chance to grow in faith. The greatest treasure is not found in any thing or one on earth; it is found in Him.
When I cried out yesterday, God gave me strength right then to return to Kalina and face the day. Later He gave me physical rest in unexpected ways-an unusually long nap time for Kalina, an earlier dinner time for us bringing a longer period of sleep at night, and better sleep for Kalina last night. Just by giving me rest, God showed me that He was there.
Today we received so many lovely emails and comments on our blog-yet another sign of God's love and presence. Thank you all for your prayers, faith, and love!
The Celebration of Praise and Worship is growing! My mom has shared our story with the lady who mails the packages at FedEx, and she plans to come! I can picture a smile on God's face as He delights in all His children coming together to sing His praises. :)
I'll conclude today with the chorus from the Jeremy Camp song:
I still believe in Your faithfulness.
I still believe in Your truth.
I still believe in Your holy Word.
Even when I don't see I still believe.
"For we do not look at the things that are seen, but at the things which are unseen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:18
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4 comments:
We all are hoping and praying for you! We cant wait to see you SOON!:)
I heard a very inspirational story today from a fellow real estate agent. He and his wife were on their way home one night late, which is unusual for them to be out this late as they have kids. A young girl had ran off the road and hit a tree. He struggled to free her from the car as the motor was shoved into the passenger seat. While he was trying to free her, the motor caught on fire and they could feel the flames on their face. He was able to free her just in time and minutes later the car burned up before the fire dept. could get there. There was two Bibles in the car as the girl's father is a chaplain for the fire dept. The steering wheel was melted and the car was burned up but the bibles were just burned on the outside. The message was that God put him in this particular placeat this particular time. This was where God wanted him and his wife.to be. This has touched his families lives as well as the lives of people he tells this story to. For whatever reason, God has you in Bangledesh for his purpose.
Matthew 6:25-34, We are not to worry about tomorrow, God will watch over you if you seek him. We love ya.
I cannot help but cry as I read your post today. My prayers, and Stephen's, continue to be with you all. It is so bittersweet to read of your experiences as a new mom, as I am experiencing my new phase of having my "baby" getting ready to go off to college. It never gets any easier and it never stops being wonderful!
If you can e-mail either of us directly, we would love to hear from you - valerie_a_adams@bellsouth.net or stevo33@bellsouth.net.
We love you and miss you and can't wait until your home.
Valerie & Stephen
I really expect to see your story published and made into a TV movie about a journey of love, which became a nightmare of circumstances but ended in victory through unrelenting faith in God.
No matter where you are this Christmas you will be celebrating it for the first time with your daughter Kalina!
May the peace of God which passes all understanding (Phil. 4:7) continue to over shadow you and keep you safe. Cindy and Ed
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